Review: Friday The 13th

Friday The 13th (2009)
starring: Jared Padalecki, Danielle Panabaker, Amanda Righetti, Derek Mears, Willa Ford
dir. Marcus Nispel


I'm not going to say I am ashamed to have seen this movie, as a matter of fact I suggested to a friend we check it out. See, I am of the age where the Friday The 13th franchise actually means something. I remember the advertising for almost all of them. I think I may have even owned the Alice Cooper single for Part 6: Jason Lives (1986). Go ahead and laugh, I also bought the Ramones single for Pet Cemetery (1989) when it came out and can probably sing all the words if you give me a minute. All of that being said, I know what should and shouldn't be expected from one of these puppies and I enjoy them for the sheer revelry of blood, boobs and bad to mediocre acting. Yes, it is a very high standard that I require from a Jason movie, but their have been several that disappoint on all levels, so there was a chance this reboot could be a big letdown.

So is this a breakthrough of the horror genre? No. Is it the best film in the series? No. Does it deliver everything that one could want from a Jason movie? In spades. There is nothing new or breakthrough here, as a matter of fact the biggest criticism for such a film is how safe it does play it, but it works. Anyone who goes in knowing abut the franchise or wanting to see what the movies are about, you get it here.

There is a quick little intro that explains Jason's origins and then a lengthy prologue that sets up the rules of the slasher film while showing off Jason's machete skills on a group of high and horny 20 somethings. We then get into the movie where it takes the rest of the running time to knock off a new batch of high, horny or just plain douche baggy 20 somethings while kindhearted and empathetic characters look for a missing sister. (She was in the original group slain in the prologue.) We hold out little hope for her and I won't spoil how or what condition she's found in, that would be no fun.

Jason is a classic character of the slasher genre. When he's not on screen, he can be anywhere at any moment. You never know where he's going to pop up. It's part of his other worldliness that can be used to great effect. He's like Jack Bauer in 24, traveling great distances in unrealistic time frames. It's illogical, but adds to the tension because we know he could be around the next corner even though we just saw him back down the street. We chuckle at it, but would miss it if it wasn't there.

The kills start off a little shaky, but keep getting better as the movie goes on. There is one real shocker with a bow and arrow as well as a classic axe kill. It delivers all of the gore and blood that the franchise is famous for. It's odd that I (maybe we as a society) could find a certain nostalgia in movie violence, but we must otherwise they wouldn't have made the movie the way they did. There are all sorts of views on movie violence. I could go into an entire diatribe about violence in the cinema, but that is for a different time and post. For now we'll just say this is a movie that is supposed to be entertaining the audience through violence. It is violent and I was entertained, so check-plus on the report card for that.

I'm not going to say director Marcus Nispel delivers a better visual style than previous films. He delivers the modern style just like the ones in the 80's did. I'm sure in 5-10 years it will look just as hokey as the originals do now. He does the job making sure the camera points in the proper direction and delivers a movie that he can be commended on for not letting us down.

The acting is all over the place, but never any good. The women are there for looks, which works. Three sets of breasts are shown and it proves that real one are always nicer then fakes. Every guy is forgettable. The only one I recognized was Ryan Hansen from Veronica Mars (2004-07) and he receives the best death of the bunch. Other than that, I'm sure we'll see plenty more of the guys when we go to buy a car in a few years and plenty more of the women in a centerfold.

My scoring here is going to seem odd, but it gets the ranking that it does because it's good for what it is and Platinum Dunes, the production company, didn't fuck it up like they did with other remakes of horror classics like The Hitcher (2007) or The Amityville Horror (2005). If you like the Jason movies, you'll enjoy it. If you've never seen one, it's a good primer. If you never liked them, it's not worth wasting you time.

8.2 out of 10