Review: Whiteout

Whiteout (2009)
staring: Kate Beckinsale, Gabriel Macht, Columbus Short, Tom Skerritt
dir. Dominic Sena

A real waste of time and potential. Go and read the graphic novels by Greg Rucka, they are superior in every way. Bad dialog, shit direction and bland acting. It felt like the actors wanted to get off the screen as much as I wanted to get out of the theater.

I would like to point out a moment that got some big laughs for the audience. Unintentional, of course. Carrie Stetko, played by Beckinsale keeps having crappy flashbacks of a situation gone wrong. She and her partner have arrested some drug trafficker and have holed u in a hotel for some unknown reason. They handcuff the guy to one of the beds and Stetko decides to get some rest. She wakes up and sees the empty handcuffs on the bedpost where her Bad Guy once was. Her narration spouts, "I felt something was wrong as soon as I woke up." No shit, the guy is gone sweetie. Open handcuffs, hmmmm that seems fishy. Fuck, it was just ridiculous.

I will give props to some of the production design. there was some decent work done there guys, unfortunately the director only knows how to do closeups of faces, so the odds of your work getting any screen time are little to none. Sorry.

Oh, I'll also give credit to Skerritt. Not for his acting, but for his attempt to look as much like Kris Kristofferson as possible. Apparently Kristofferson had something better to do than this role. Like clean up the dog shit from his back yard.

It's just a shame, there was so many possible for tension and horror and mystery that just seems tossed out and wasted. If you can't figure out who the bad guy in in ten minutes, you're not paying attention. No matter how hard they try to pull a shifty eyed dog on you.

4 out of 10