Film Geek Primer: Episode #3

Film Geek Primer:
Episode #3
Conan The Barbarian




What happens when geeks disagree over the merits of the 1982 sword and sorcery film Conan The Barbarian? Watch and find out.

The Eclectic Choice: Tough Assignment

TOUGH ASSIGNMENT (1949)
dir. William Beaudine


This is from the Forgotten Noir series, Vol. 5 for those of you into specifics. Anyone looking for quality should stay away. This is a true “B” movie, clocking in at 66 minutes, shot in about 10 days and was the second feature after the main attraction. Low Budget Mogul Robert L. Lippert, best known for spearheading Sam Fuller’s first films, produced it.

Don “Red” Barry and Marjorie Steele play an intrepid reporting team who are going to bust wide open the mob’s latest endeavor into…drugs, prostitution, extortion? Nope, Meat! “Bootleg Beef” as the folks in the know call it. You can’t help but chuckle at some of the dialog and situations. When one of the newspaper headlines reads, “Hot Beef Mob Jailed” you’ll blow Mt. Dew out your nose. But it is important to remember that this was made in a time when life was simpler and the Department of Agriculture could kick gangster ass.

All campiness aside, this is an interesting look at what happens when folks sit in a room and peanut butter cup a movie. “Audiences love gangster movies and they love westerns, lets give ‘em both!” On screen it plays more like carob and almond paste, just weird. This isn‘t a recommendation for everyone, juts those who are into the more “obscure for a reason” genre. If you are then you’ve hit the jackpot. It’s loaded with commentaries and mini-documentaries plus the main feature FBI Girl. Easy to rent, or buy it here. There are worse ways you can spend nine bucks.

24 Frames: The Asian Invasion

I find it interesting that popular Eastern Asian cinema has rolled from country to country over time. I mean this as a saucer eyed American looking at the trends that tend to become popular here.


Growing up I was aware of chop-socky flicks because I’d watch badly dubbed and edited versions on channel five as a kid. I’d also watch recut versions of anime like Starblazers, Spacekateers, Speed Racer and other such stuff. Then 1991 came along and changed everything. That’s when Hong Kong invaded America.

John Woo, Jackie Chan and Jet Li films started traveling around the country in Asian film festivals. One of these happened to hit Tucson Arizona and I ended up going to a bunch of them. I’d be introduced to names like Chow Yun-Fat, Samo Hung and Simon Yam. I’d witness acrobatic feats, bullet ballets and wire-fu fantasy. It was a crazy time to be a film student and have this entire world of cinema open your eyes. I would gobble down these films like Marlon Brando with a case of Big Macs. It soon caught on in the popular culture and Hong Kong movies were the flavor of the week. America would start importing these filmmakers and actors to try and boost our now boring action films. But that couldn’t last forever.

Anime was the next thing, so we moved from China to Japan, where it would go through two different transformations. First, anime would hit hard and all the middle school kids would start munching on Evangelion and Trigun. The youngsters got their Poke-Mon and the hipsters (I say that only to qualify myself as hip, which I’m not) would grab onto Cowboy Be-Bop and proclaim we saw Ghost in the Shell and Akira in the theaters (which I did) years before any of this caught on.


Then came the J-Horror movement. Films like The Grudge, Ringu, Audition, and Cure would frighten us all because it played by very different rules than American horror and we just thought it was great. I include the works of Takashi Miike and Kiyoshi Kurosawa among these, even though they do not fit nicely into the J-Horror category. Kurosawa (no relation to Akira) has made several films that delve deeply into the psychology of human behavior, while Miike puts out disturbing (grotesque) metaphysical/metaphorical flicks on a regular basis. The popularity of J-horror would lead to several American remakes that, as far as I can tell, have pretty much burned itself out even though they keep trying

During all of this, companies like Manga, Toyko Shock and (now deceased)Tartan released not only the most popular of these on DVD, but anything that might catch on. Amongst the Direct to video onslaught it became clearer and clearer that the latest and greatest seems to be coming out of Korea.

It started with Shiri (1999), which starred Lost’s Yunjin Kim as a hit woman. Then came the glory that is Chan-wook Park. His Vengeance Trilogy would knock the socks off of geeks everywhere. He was recognized at the Cannes Film Festival for his film Oldboy (2003). Tarantino was the jury president that year, so it only makes sense that ultra-violent art would be duly recognized. Plans had gone into an American remake starring Nicholas Cage that thankfully fell through. And now we have a new film from Korea called The Chaser (2007). It deals with lazy cops, a serial killer and some macabre humor. It is the latest offering to blow away box office records in its homeland and is already in line for a remake in the United States.

Now, none of the other movements have gone away. Anime is still strong. Takashi Miike puts out a new movie every other month and Johnny To is showing that Hong Kong still knows where the action is. It just happens to be Korea’s moment in the cinematic spotlight. Things will shift again. I have a feeling that with the return of John Woo to China and Johnny To’s amazing films of late that we’ll be hearing something from behind the great wall. Then again we are seeing more and more from Taiwan and who knows what is going on in Laos, Micronesia or Vietnam’s movie world. They could be quietly taking position for the next cinematic invasion.

The Eclectic Choice: Cult of the Cobra

Cult of the Cobra (1955)
dir. Francis D. Lyon


Everyone knows the classic Universal Horror movies. Dracula, Frankenstein, The Wolf Man, all of these characters and their sequels sprung fully formed from the studio. To this day all film geeks recognize Universal horror films as the heyday of horror. But buried beneath these icons of horror cinema are several smaller films that may not have had the budget or mass appeal, but are just as strong and deserve better recognition in the Universal canon. Cult of the Cobra is one of these films.

A group f G.I.'s on leave stumble upon a sacred ceremony by the cult named above. The high priest threatens that the cobra goddess will go after them. She is a woman of unique beauty that can transform into a cobra and slowly starts knocking off the G.I.'s. Things start to go awry because she didn't count on falling in love. Oh, my.

An interesting look at bohemian life, (much like Cat People) female sexual repression and the price you pay. Damn you women for wanting to get it on! Pus it has a great transformation sequence using shadows on a wall. Some genuine cheese, some genuine scares and a really good time.

This is only available to purchase in the Sci-Fi Ultimate Collection: Vol. 1 and 2 set. The entire set it worth it containing some of the lesser, but just as good Universal horror films. Or you can go add it to your queue.

R.I.P. John Phillip Law

John Phillip Law (1937-2008)

I feel compelled to write a little something about Mr. Law who passed away yesterday at the age of 70.


I saw Mr. Law in person about a month ago at the Egyptian. There was a screening of the cult classic Danger Diabolik and he spoke after the film. Other then mentioning he was tired a lot more often than he used to be, he was in good spirits was grateful for such a fun career, enjoyed the variety of films he was in and the attractive women that he got to make out with. All in all, He seemed to be very happy that people still remembered him and was more than congenial when it came to discussing his career. He also beamed of pride for a young boy who was either his son or grandson. It was really warming and the kid seemed happy to be recognized.


For those who do not know much about John Phillip Law, he not only starred in Danger Diabolik, but also played Pygar the Angel in Barbarella as well as appearing in Skidoo, the Otto Preminger bomb made for the acid tripper in all of us. All three of these films were released in 1968. Not a bad trifecta on the cult movie circuit.

All in all he acted in 81 projects (I can't forget Death Rides a Horse) over his career and though he may not be remembered in the way a Cary Grant, or James Stewart might be, he still has his geek followers. I am one of them. FGP offers condolences to Mr. Law's family and friends. He will be missed, but not forgotten.

(Side note: Music fans will recognize Danger Diabolik as the inspiration for the Beastie Boys video Body Movin'.)

24 Frames: Le Prince of the City

Gather round kiddies. Get a juice box, settle in, and uncle Santo is going to tell you a story. Comfy? Good, lets get started.

Now, a long time ago in a far-off land called France, there was a man named Louis Le Prince. Le Prince was a magic man. He created a machine that could capture images on film and then make them magically reappear and move across a screen. Some people were amazed, some were jealous, and some couldn’t have cared less. One day Le Prince packed up his magic machine, kissed his wife and children goodbye, and boarded a train. He was embarking on a journey to show off his machine in New York, the city that never sleeps. But when the train arrived in Paris, Le Prince became part of another magic trick: both him and his machine magically disappeared and were never heard from again.

Now isn’t that a fun story boys and girls? And it’s true.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, I’m about to lay a conspiracy theory on you. I’ll start off by saying I’m not a conspiracy buff. Other than the fact that our government knows about UFO’s, the Loch Ness monster is responsible for 9/11, and Oswald didn’t act alone, I am a firm believer that conspiracy theories are a bunch of pig plop.

So let’s go back and look at our children’s story a little more closely.

In 1888, Louis Le Prince invented a device that was both a motion picture camera and projector. He was granted a US patent on this device, which consisted of 16 lenses (I have no idea why he needed so many). He eventually refined his machine down to one lens, but was not allowed a US patent. Hmmmm… Le Prince decided to fight back by taking a PR trip, hitting Paris, London, and New York. He’d get the word out, let the world know that he’d created the first motion picture. So in September of 1890, he said au revoir to the family and boarded his train. Then it was bye-bye Louis.

Now, the most commonly accepted theory regarding the disappearance of Le Prince, and the one I believe, is as follows: that p*ick Edision had him whacked! See, Thomas Edison was working on creating the same thing around the same time. He was even able to get an American patent on a single lens camera the same year that Le Prince disappeared. Isn’t that a coincidence? To further arouse suspicion, when the Le Prince family was involved in a lawsuit against Edison to annul his claims of inventing the moving picture camera, Adolphe Le Prince was found dead a couple days before he was set to testify. It was ruled a suicide. Very convenient.

It was well known that “Honest Tommy” (my own affectionate nickname) would take the credit for several inventions that he didn’t create. And he was a bit of a tyrant when it came to his business dealings. Edison could easily afford to pay a couple guys to make sure LePrince slept with the fishes.

Edison couldn’t come right out with projected films, could he? Nope. Much like the government doling out alien technology, he had to do it slowly to make it look like his own invention. Edison came out first with what was called the Kinetoscope, the video iPod of its day. That is, if the video iPod stood three feet high, weighed a couple hundred pounds, and you had to look through a viewer while turning a crank to watch a ballerina dance on a loop for 30 seconds at a time.

Of course “Honest Tommy” wasn’t the only kid on the block working on moving pictures. The first projected showing of a movie would not happen until 1895 (seven years after Le Prince) by a couple of other French guys, the Lumiere brothers. I guess they had all the documentation to back up their work, so they’ve never been implicated into the disappearance of Le Prince. Edison would quickly roll out his version of a projector and the film industry was born.

As for Le Prince, he has basically become a footnote of film lore and fun story to tell around a geeky campfire. Would there be a very different industry today if he hadn’t disappeared? It’s always hard to say. Le Prince’s place in cinema history is rarely acknowledged. Then again, this could just be another one of those crazy conspiracies cooked up by the Oculus Dai to keep us from discovering

The Eclectic Choice: Nightmare City

Nightmare City (1980)
dir. Umberto Lenzi


Italian filmmaker Umberto Lenzi threw his hat in the zombie ring with this addition to the genre. A nuclear accident turns a group of people into rampaging zombies. They burst out of a military plane and run, not walk, all over the place and terrorize the human race. Now this isn't my favorite zombie movie, though Tremendo highly recommends it. It does have a few "nice kills" and this is the first time we'll see zombies run. The running wouldn't become popular until 28 Days Later and that would draw rage from the zombie purists. But the purists would say they aren't really zombies either. It's worth a look.


Use this at a party when it turns to a zombie conversation (because it always does): No matter what people say about Romero or Bava, I think Lenzi really upped the zombie ante with Nightmare city